The word for today is “twitch.”
My left eye has been twitching off and on for 3 days. It’s a weird sensation, and seems to be in step with my pulse; so it might just be a blood pressure or a stress thing. I get what I call “silent migraines” from time to time – I call them “silent” because although I’ve been told they are a form of migraine they don’t come with pain, just some weird effects to my eyes (though sometimes the pain does then come later) – when I can’t focus on anything, because my eyes seem to be twitching independently of one another. This week, though, it just seems to be the one eye.
I’m thinking about it, though, because it seems just out of my power to do anything about it, and yet it impedes my functioning. It makes me paranoid – do other people notice? are they looking at my eye twitch? or just noticing my bad breath? (I packed too quickly!) It makes me distracted – when the eye begins twitching, whatever I should be focusing on is lost in questions about “why now?”
I think I get spiritual twitches, too. Parts of my spirit or psyche that might get a bit too strung out – too stresses, perhaps, or over worked – and simply spasm a moment, distracting, disturbing.
Some of the twitches I need to address. I cannot know true peace, either in myself or in my relationships (let alone household!) if I don’t deal with those quick twitches of anger that sometimes flare up. Worse yet, when they do I all-too-often let them drive me, rather than pausing and letting the twitch go away. The thing is, like my left eye, when the anger does twitch up, I’m not sure how to make it “go away.” I’m about as able to stop a rising feeling of anger as I am able to stop my eye twitching.
So what do I do? Well, when I get the migraines it is an indication that I need to close my eyes, or find a dark room, or simply stop trying to read, watch TV, or do anything that requires sight. I simply stop. And rest. I’m finding the same seems to work with the twitch; if I just slow down a bit, focus more on breathing for a moment, it subsides.
So maybe when my spirit twitches – when some part of me isn’t quite working/behaving/thinking the way it it supposed to, say – maybe I need to just pause. Breathe. Stop. Rest. Reset. Allow myself to be re-created, in essence. Allow the anger to twitch until it leaves. (I know, this is just another way of saying the old adage, “count to ten”!)
Perhaps the best advice in such moments is to think of it like my current eye twitch – not something wholly bad in itself, but symptomatic. A warning sign that my spiritual/emotional life is about to go off the rails unless I take the time to slow down and re-center.
So… the next time my 3 1/2 year old hauls off and whacks one of the others of us; or the cats decide they’d rather use my boots than the litter box; or outcomes just aren’t fulfilling my hopes and expectations; or… whatever… I hope I’ll remember that the twitch I’m feeling is a way of telling me to stop, at least for a moment, to breathe, and to re-focus on what (and Who and who) matters…
Oh, wait. Here it goes again. I suppose I should take a rest from the screen now…